Saturday, March 03, 2007
7:29 PM
Hey guys, how is everyone doing?
Well for me, weirder and weirder things are happening to me. Things i've never been able to expect, not even in my wildest dreams. But yes, it happened, and i won't deny that it did.
Since october last year to now. its been only like 4-5 months? but what i feel is that i seemed to be going thru a year or 2 le. Days passes slowly and difficultly with many many unpleasant stuff happening. Many times or not, i will blame everything that happens to be unfair to me. Like why is it happening to me? Why dun my frens undergo the same stuff as i do, why must it be me? why why why? But now i realised smth, everyone is different and unique & there is no way your life can be the same as them. Things like betrayal, deception, disappointment, more and more, is just the way you think about it. Tho many ppl will say, " if u dun let the thing affect you, it can't." but hey, lets face it. while saying so, while trying to not let the thing affect you, it already did. You are already forcing yourself not to think about it, so isn't it affecting you?
But are you gonna fall because of it? are you gonna just give up when faced up with such obstacles? Well for me, i used to give in, i used to blame everything that happens on everything else except myself.
I AM SUCH A COWARD, I AM SUCH A LOSER. But for now, i will just move on with it, live on with it. what i wanna say to life is that,
HEY, IS THAT ALL THAT YOU'VE GOT? GIMME SOMEMORE & I WILL SURVIVE IT CAUSE I LIVE WITH THIS SHIT!Recently i've been suffering from some weird weird stuff that i've nva suffered b4, some emotional problems. Being sad and scared at times with stuff i dun even know. But hey, life goes on doesn't it? So what if u are scared and sad, does it make a difference? We're all old enough that u can't just go and cuddle into your mum's bed and tell her, "mum i'm scared". So when you have no one to turn to, you just have to face it, and you jolly well do.
Sorry that i sounded agitated here cause i really just wanna vent out my anger here that such "weird" & unpleasant stuff happened to me. But dun worry la, i will not be like what i used to be to complain about such shit. We live on with life whether anot life is hard for you.
Remember the happiness level thingy that me and hsing fu used to play last year around april like that? I can still remember hsing fu told me b4, "If u treat today's happiness level as a guide, tml's happiness level can only rise or fall. Lets say today was a bad day and your happiness level is 2/10 like that, there is only 10% chance that tml will be worse so dun worry yea?" How true to me last time. And i will continue to believe in it, tho the average happiness level of me from last october till now is like 2.5/10 per day. Nevermind, i choose to have hope in life. It will get better de. OPTIMISM is the way of life.
Oh yea before i sign off, just wanna share another phrase of my GP teacher with you guys. "If yesterday was a bad day, well its over already. Nothing is permanent." - Mrs. Leong.
Cool isn't it? Just bring it :D
sun set or sun rise;
up to us to decide
