Friday, August 31, 2007
11:15 PM
Story of a boy...
Borned into a happy family with parents who loved him and siblings who cared for him since the day he existed. He felt happy.
Since young, this boy had high hopes and aspirations. Though without a future career in mind, this boy wanted to do things which can make his family members proud of him. In fact, he wanted everyone that knew him to be proud of him.
At the age of 7, he was admitted to a neighborhood preliminary school. Together with 2 best friends, he went schooling everyday. School was a joy for him, he made more frens. Although school was fun, he was often bullied and teased. But this did not made this boy detest going to school, it just made him very unconfident of himself. It was all the way till the age of 12 that there is this big change in the boy's life, an introduction of many new characters that the boy deemed to important to him (at that point of time). This few characters he met made this boy thirst for an everlasting frenship, which seemed so promising to him at that time, and he went on to pursue it. Childhood memories engraved deeply in the mind of this young one as he grow up slowly with them, sharing both happiness and sorrow.
At first the boy met this young cute girl which he had a crush. After much attempts to improve on their relationship, they finally embark on their puppy love. But it was not long after things turned bad, the relationship did not but external obstacles did. This young couple was forced to be separated. The young boy suffered a trauma, he didn understand why this kind of things had to be done to him. At the young age of 14, this boy sunk into depression. The boy find no meaning in life, he even had suicidal thoughts. He felt that no one really understands him and that the purpose of his existence is vague. It was until this day when the boy saw this "thing" which started to interest him, give him the meaning to life. He pursued this "thing" in search for a new beginning, and found ppl who shared the same interest with him.
At 16, the boy finally realised that he cannot carry on like this cause this "thing" he had pursued isn't gonna to be everlasting and he had to return to reality. He began to spend more time with his friends, began to get back to life. It didn take too long for everything to go back to normal - the group of frens this boy had since young were back close together again. Going to school everyday, spending all the important moments of life tgt. They went around school making frens, establishing more frenships, though not as strong as the ones between them.
Days of his life became more interesting when the boy finally walk out off his phobia and met another girl, a girl which changed his life thoroughly. It was just by coincidence that things happened. The boy saw this girl in school everyday, and he started going crazy counting the number of times he saw her each day, trying to increase the number of times everyday. Not long later, the boy knew he had fallen for her and he had the intention of taken their relationship to the next level. However, constant "ignorance" of the girl made the boy disheartened to a stage that the boy was on the verge of giving up. quarrels between them were more frequent than ever. It was this very morning that the boy switched on his mobile and received a msg from the girl, the girl actually confessed to the boy that she had some feelings for him too and did not want their relationship to worsen. The boy was confused at that moment but went on to improve their relationship. Things seems to start off quite well and the boy was getting happier everyday. With each day pass, he yearned for the next to come just for another moment to spend with the girl. But things are always going against the boy and he doesn't knows why. Just when everything seemed perfect, the girl suddenly ignored the boy without giving a reason before breaking off with him after his persistent request to know the reason. How could it happen again? And the boy tot that this time it would last, everything was perfect. The boy couldn't take it anymore but he did not give up on the girl just like that ( the same thing he had did last time). instead, the boy did watever he could with hopes of gaining back the girl's faith in him though he did not know of the reason for her leaving him. Looking at the state of despair the boy was in, a trusted fren from the boy's band of brothers wanted to help him. He went the extra mile to get to know the girl better wanting to help the both reconcile. Things didn seemed to change much for the boy as anxiety intensify due to the boy's reluctance to drift apart from the girl. Finally this day came when the boy finally discovered something different, something strange taking place. At first the boy refuse to believe the things that he felt, putting them down thinking that he thinks too much. But when things just appear right in front of him, the boy just couldn't continue to run away from reality anymore. The fren who had intended to help him at first was together with this girl that the boy had liked. His heart was shattered, his faith was gone. Once again he didn know why such things happened to him. He tried to understand but it just seem so dramatic. Such things that could only be seen in cinemas actually happen to him. The boy couldn't bear to take this pain anymore, he left them hoping that the group of frens he was with before could lend him support. But unfortunately, it was to no avail. No one actually had time for this poor boy. Wimpy as he is( which many ppl would feel), the boy cried almost everynite in his sleep. there were even sleepless nites, with this thing filling his mind for a couple of months. When ppl would think that the worst had already come, it was proven wrong when the boy actually failed in his studies, his used-to-be forte. He did badly for a national exam. Some of his frens left him, he changed as a person, isolating himself from everyone. The boy had lost confidence once more, lost faith in friends who he had trusted - the whole group of them, lost faith in love. This time the boy had fallen too hard, fallen too badly and no one was there for him anymore.
For months, the boy hanged on. He relied on his parents and siblings for support. When he finally had the intention of not letting this series of happenings to continue affecting his life anymore, the boy had already lost a huge part of life. He struggled to lead a new life, he struggled to catch up with studies, he struggled to get back his long lost frens. But it was all too late, some of the boy's frens had left, the others had other commitments. One by one, the boy's good frens left him till he was left with himself. When he tot he was getting back on his feet, he actually wasn't. Time just passed as the boy sunk deeper into isolation. He had himself, and himself. All by himself, all with himself.
Sad for him.
You raised me up to walk on stormy seas, but now i'm finding it difficult to continue on...
sun set or sun rise;
up to us to decide
Friday, August 24, 2007
9:47 PM
Inspired, touched, motivated... Dr. William Tan is superb, one of the grestest being ever lived i must say.
Imagine a man, half-paralysed from age 2, and because he was poor, he had no money to get himself a wheelchair or a pair of clutches until the age of 16 when the Society for Aid to the Paralysed lent him one. Despite the fact that he was a "kindergarden dropout" and he was an handicapped, Dr William Tan did not give up on life like what most ppl will do. What he did instead was to treat every problem as a challenge to overcome. This mindset eventually help our society groom this "super being", one which almost everyone, but his parents, look down on. After he graduated from RI as one of the top students there, Dr William Tan spent 21 years proving his capability to the world before medical schools finally accepted him, and here he is today, a Harvard, Oxford & NUS grad. In addition to what he had done, perservering thru his life and succeed eventually, Dr William Tan felt that he had not achieve true success yet. He went on to help inspire other ppl and improving their lives thru various mediums. Completing the "Grand Slam" ( Marathon on 7 continents and the North Pole USING A WHEELCHAIR!!!) and raising millions of funds for the needy all over the world, were some of the charitable aid he gave to the society.
How many of u can say u can do what he had done given the same situation? To me, i cannot. I feel that his will-power is astonishing, truly amazing. His ability to accept his disabilities and work on what he has ( his brains and arms are not disabled) is not what many can do. To the many out there, usually they just give up on what they think is difficult. Once met with an obstacle, ppl just stop and find an easy way out. If u guys think the 2.4km run for NAPFA is hard, think about marathon around the world, let alone say on wheelchairs.
Things are not turning out well. But i shall adopt this thinking - treat every problem as a challenge and try to overcome them. "No Journey Too Tough", as Dr William Tan has claimed. =)
sun set or sun rise;
up to us to decide
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
4:52 PM
Have anyone ever wondered why they are doing what they are doing now? Have anyone ever wondered what would become of them if they had done something else instead?
Well take studies for example, have u ever wondered why u study so hard? To obtain good grades to go to good universities and then find a good job? Is that what u guys really want? So what happens after u find yourself a great job? get married and have kids and then? Well, let me answer it for u all, and then we just DIE! =) Life is short, so why do the things we do not enjoy? Well, i'm not saying that trying our best to get into good universities is not good cause studies and experiences have proven that they provide a "better future"( who am i to argue that studying is stupid when i am doing it myself and when i have seen real life example of success? ) But the thing is, the better future that everyone claims is actually in monetary terms, in material terms. They often equate money to happiness as if money can buy us happiness. Our future is determined by our ability to earn money, to get rich, to enjoy the material wealth we can have. But where does the emotional feelings come about? If we can really slow down abit to think about it, have we really earned ourself a good future? or did we simply exchanged it for something that can never be refunded? Think about the times we spend preparing for exams, what did we forsake and what did we introduce to ourselves. Think about the times when we enjoy times with our family members and friends, or is there any? The opportunity cost for our self-proclaim " good future" is actually an exchange we did using our teenage happiness and the compensation for a thing we called stress. We introduce stress to ourselves, often stressing ourselves out during the preparation for examinations. And guess what, i've learnt in econs that such things can never be measured by monetary terms. So what? We are still exchanging them for monetary benefits - A BRIGHT FUTURE.
well the fact is we only get to live once, enjoy it while we can and do what we deem fit. But having said so doesn't really mean we shld give up on studies and go do what we want based on our own desire. what i want to say is that sometimes we shld really slow down in life and get to enjoy the bits and pieces of life instead of spending these few moments to try to squeeze any physics or chemistry info into our brains as i feel that this little bit of time might only affect our grades by a little but these bits and pieces of life actually affects our whole life as a whole. It gives us memories of what we have done in the past, it rekindle thoughts which might brighten up our day after a day of gloomy worklife. Sleep on it guys. ^^
Anyway, today was a short but tiring day. Haven had a good sleep since last week i guess. Mum and dad finally returned from overseas, YAY! no need to wake myself up every morning le. =) So i did some math and chem today but there are more to be finish. Well, heck them. As my dad always says, " Gong ke zhuo de wan de meh?" ( translate into english means that can homework ever be finished? ) So, i guess i can only try to complete more later. Still have G.P. essay that i need to finish b4 i can hand in to miss meera gopal tml. THURSDAY TML, sian man.
Besides that, talked to kh awhile today. It just left me thinking...
Bye all!
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart.
What it meant to me, will eventually, be a memory of a time when I tried so hard...
sun set or sun rise;
up to us to decide
Friday, August 10, 2007
7:10 PM
Its been quite some time since i last blogged, i guess its due to the momentum bah. Once its lost, its hard to recover it once again.
Couple of events happened recently. National day just past, now enjoying the long weekend due to that ( hope i make good use of it). Went for swimming on wednesday after national day celebration in school. Not bad, quite fun. And ya, national day marks the ending of my maple journey for now( lol, i promised my mum that) and the start of the preparation for A levels( quite late right? hope can catch up soon.). I dunno why but the days seems to get more and more boring as the A's are nearing. Its always like this, when exams are nearing, we tend to do things which we used to deem as stupid. Even a show of tom and jerry can be dam entertaining at times, haiz... 3 more months as ppl claimed, its both long and short. Short in a sense that we do not have enuff time for preparation in order to obtain the desirable grades we had wanted. Long in a sense that its still 3 months away from the self-proclaimed period of eternal enjoyment( few months of nothingness as told by mr. dennis yeo).
Nth more to reveal down here le. =p
Thinking... keep thinking...
.
sun set or sun rise;
up to us to decide
